Skunkworth's Barleyslime: Coors Light Iced T (CLIT)

Review: Coors Light Iced T by Cody La Bière
This beer (note: it is NOT a beer) somehow ended up in my jacket pocket the other day after a long night of partying. I don't know how and I don't want to know how it got there in the first place.

This can was staring at me in the fridge for the past week and I just wanted to vomit looking at it. For the past few years now, Molson and Labatt have made flavoured beer to try rejuvenating a stagnating macro beer industry due to beer drinkers moving to microbrewed beers and harder alcohol. For some reason, they thought that an artificially flavoured light beer would compete with real beer.. but beers like Bug Bud Light Lime, Miller Chill and now CLIT (Coors Light Iced T) have been proved to be big money makers for the factory breweries, unfortunately.

When I see a person drinking Bud Light Lime or this beer - Coors Light Iced T, it's not a girl with her girlfriends drinking it, it's usually a bro thinking that it's the coolest beer ever, making him more masculine drinking it, when in fact.. it makes him look more like a wuss. One now needs tea, lemon, lime flavours to mask the taste of beer? Then why the hell are they drinking beer in the first place? Don't like the taste of beer, drink a fucking cooler instead.

Seeing that the majority of people who come to my blog are looking for reviews of products like this over reviews of Belgian tripels or stouts, I'm obliged to review this, that and I need some advertising revenue so I can review better beers :P

My gut is churning just looking at the can, I do feel like a sellout for not giving this beer to my sister, but hey.. my moto regarding beer is that I'll try anything twice.. so here we are.

Pouring this beer into glass, it's an orangey yellow clear urine colour, incredibly carbonated and fizzy, as if you're pouring a carbonated soft drink. White bubbles. Does not look like any iced tea I've ever had, powdered, faux iced tea or real iced tea...

The aroma of this product is a mixture of low quality malt, similar to what you would see in a Molson Dry, some sort of weird artificial tea aroma and soap.. yeah I smell soap in this beer.. like Dove Soap. There's a bit of lemon in it. Molson does do a good job trying to mask almost any trace of "beer" aroma for those who can't handle beer.

The taste.. wtf am I drinking? What is this? Am I drinking expired beer or what? I have no clue what this is supposed to be.. it tastes like expired flat Coors Light that has more maltiness added and some sort of palmolive dish soap in there.. like as if you were doing dishes and forgot to rinse out the glass. This tastes blech.

The tea taste IS there but artificial at best - is masked by the soapy palmolive taste (which is supposed to be lemon). They did a good job masking any hint of "beer" but at what cost? Instead of it tasting anything like beer, it tastes like dish soap.

Yuck, folks - don't drink this. If you don't want to drink beer that tastes like beer, then just simply don't drink beer, there's better options out there.. hell, drink a cooler, or get your favourite iced tea (I prefer Snapple) and add some vodka or rum to it instead, instead of paying a premium on this product.

Lastly, no truer words have been said than from my friend Chris regarding this beer: "C.L.I.T! A tie between the worst iced tea & worst beer I've had. Still, better then regular Coor's"

Dear Molson and Labatt, please just stop - you're not fooling beer geeks, but hey, we're not your demographic anyways because you think it would take up too much of your time to make a beer that would actually make beer snobs happy, instead - you aim for broskis who want to look hip and douchey by drinking this product.

Bros - just stop, this doesn't make you look more of a man by drinking this. Drink some rye and Coke instead, or drink a real beer. The product is nicknamed CLIT for a reason, it's meant for girls, but you never see any girls actually drink this product because they know better!

3 comments:

  1. Poor Rickard's glass. It didn't want any of that action.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great, bad review! I even passed by the taste testing samples of this at my MLCC this summer. Is this worse then the Jets Fan Brew though?

    ReplyDelete