Worst. Beer. Ever.

There's always a list of beer that's on our shit lists, piss that we will never touch ever again, stuff that should not be called beer in the first place. I'm more liberal when it comes to trying beer - I'll try almost ANYTHING. Lagers, light beer, and even beer that's the taste of cold. There's a limit to what I'll actually drink. Will you ever see me buy a case of Bud/Coors Light? Nope. Even if I was having a barbecue? No, instead I would buy a variety of microbrews - including ones that are likely to wow guests. What's on my beer shit list?
  1. Molson M - This beer's entire advertising spiel is that it's micro-carbonated for a smoother taste. What do I taste? Corn, light corn. That is it. Is it smooth? If you like beer flavoured water, sure. The "tiny" bubbles are supposed to make it taste fresh too or something. It tasted stale. I compared the bubbles to a local microbrew and there was minimal to no difference in "the size of the bubbles."
  2. Labatt Lite (Blue Light), Coors Light, Bud Light, Moose Light, Keystone and Keystone Light and Miller Lite - Light beer sucks, period. Instead of giving each of these beers its own mention on the list, I piled them together. They suck. Too much corn, too bland, just gross. 
  3. Lime Beer - Stop. It. Already. 
  4. Molson 67 - My mom's favourite beer. She drinks it because apparently she's on a diet or something and likes to count calories. On the TV commercials they state that there's 67 calories per bottle, but if you read the actual bottle, it's more like 70 calories.
  5. Alexander Keith's Red at the bar that one time - That was just disgusting, I'll never get Keith's Red at that bar ever again. It was stale, no head, tasted like the keg was sitting in the sun (tapped) for months. The worst pint I ever drank.
  6. Anything by Minhas Creek - I'm glad I can't find their beer as much anymore. They're planning to build a brewery in Winnipeg, but I still won't drink their beer. It sucks even more that the "Great Beers from Around the World" book that my ex girlfriend got me has Minhas listed as having some great beer. Not only that, but they didn't have a single mention of Unibroue in the entire book.
  7. Fort Garry Stone Cold - My ex girlfriend thought this beer was tasty. Any beer that comes in a plastic bottle is NOT tasty. I don't drink any Fort Garry beers for just the fact they have a few different beers in plastic bottles.
  8. Pubs that serve only Canadian, Coors, Rickards, Kokanee and Keith's. No thank you.

Retired from the Shit List:
  1. Unibroue - In 2004 I had my first taste of Unibroue beer, I tried La fin du monde at first. This was my review: "I tried this beer back a few months ago hearing that Unibroue makes some of the best beer in Canada, it’s a high percentage beer, but I didn’t really like it, it has a really sweet taste which reminded me of black licorish. It’s easy to get drunk off this beer, but just not my cup of tea, or in this case, glass of beer."  - A year later, things changed. I regularly bought only cases of Trois Pistoles for a while. After a while, I started to really appreciate the taste. I went and bought a bottle of La fin and loved every sip of it. Things do change!
Check out RateBeer.com's Worst Beer List! Most of the list is not surprising at all.


pintbypint said...

That picture looks like just about every beer store in the province of Alberta. I pretty much agree with your list, lots of flavourless beer with lots of big advertising money to push it down everyone's throats.

Cody Lobreau said...

In Ontario the Beer Store is piloting a new store concept - a beer "boutique", much like a wine boutique, but features mainly crafts and imports. I hope it really takes off. here in Manitoba we're starting to see more variety, but we're also seeing an increase in Molbatts selection, instead of one lime beer from Molson, there's like uh 3? now