Skunksworth's Barleyslime - Michelob Ultra

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Skunksworth's Barleyslime - Michelob Ultra by Cody La Bière
Sir Skunkworth's been away from the swill beers for the past while, as always, but today he's reviewing Michelob Ultra, one of the way-too-many low carb beers out there for those people who want a beer, but are also on a diet.. apparently.

Michelob Ultra is now as low-cal as many of the other "diet" beers out there on the market. Molson Canadian 67 comes out at 67 calories per 341mL serving. Labatt Blue 55 comes out as you guessed it.. 55 calories. But with Canadian 67 and Labatt Blue 55, you compromise alcohol content for low calories - Molson 67 has 3% ABV while Labatt Blue 55 had 2.5%. Labatt Blue 55 doesn't appear to be around anymore, and rightfully so - low cal beers are horrible. Unlike 67, Michelob ultra has more calories at 95 per 355mL can, but has 4% ABV, comparable alcohol content to Labatt Lite and Coors Light which both have 125ish calories.

Pouring the Michelob Ultra, it's an incredibly dull and clear watery "beer" with a bit of yellow dye in it. Molson 67 is even darker in appearance than this. Very fizzy and looks below lacklustre.

Aroma-wise, notes of corn, corn syrup, a bit of low grade barley, slightly grassy and skunky.

Now I have to taste it? Come on guys.. I haven't been THAT bad this year! This is just as bad as the aroma, it has too much of a corn syrup sweetness to it, probably why they were able to keep it down to 95 calories. Not even a hint of hops in this beverage they call a "beer". It's skunky, a bit too sweet, corny, lowest quality malted barley I've had in a long time. I'm being a snob, yes but this making my face cringe every sip I take. There's an aftertaste of aluminum and corn.

At 95 calories, Michelob tries to be the mediator between "flavour" and low calorie beer, but fails at that. Sure, it keeps a "lite beer" alcohol percentage on it, but even Coors Light has more flavour to it.

Remember when Molson 67 was trying to aim their beers towards guys who love double bacon cheeseburgers a year back? That failed big time. Low carb/calorie beers just aren't a thing guys (or even most girls) seem to like.. it's a fad like anything else. Want something that's not heavy on carbs AND tastes great? Muskoka's new Detour Session IPA is a fabulous alternative at only 129 calories per 355mL bottle and 4.3% ABV and not only that - is full of flavour! If you're going to diet, eat a double bacon cheeseburger AND want a beer that doesn't compromise on taste - this is a great option - and you won't be left feeling empty, like you do with Michelob Ultra or the other "diet" beers.

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brewji
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26 March 2014 at 12:12 delete

Oh good lord-of-hops, I thought nothing could be worse than Molson 67...thank you for preventing this future "would-be" purchase! I think I'll just walk to and from my liquor store, burn 150 calories, and grab something truly worth savouring.

Cheers!

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