Cranky Beer Rant - Things need to change



As a beer connoisseur, it troubles me that it's easier to find crap beer than it is to find good beer. Take Bud Light Lime for example. It costs more than a case of delicious microbrew, and people are more than willing to pay the premium on it! Here in Manitoba, Canada, it costs $21.03 before tax and deposit. WITH tax and deposit, it works our to roughly around $24.75.

24.75 for Bud Light with a faux lime chemical added. Unibroue sold their Chambly Collection mixer case for the exact same price. What was the difference? Instead of generic low quality piss water, you get a delicious witbier, a really interesting saison blonde ale, and a really good dark ale. For the same price. No lime chemical, no low quality product and no doucheness in the product.

Here in Manitoba, crap beer is over dominant in local vendors and MLCC stores. Heck, MLCC phased out cases of Unibroue to replace it with 750mL bottles of the same product (which is costlier than when it was 6s). Real estate wise, MLCC replaced what was once the space for Unibroue products with larger case sizes of Corona. Like seriously? Come on, there are better deserving beers that deserve shelf space than Corona. Like what? Wild Rose Brewery, that would be a great brew to see in Manitoba, Dieu du Ciel, even larger varieties of Mill Street. But nope, it's Corona.

This is what I think ruins the beer industry for me:

  • Beer the "taste of cold." Coors Light likes to compare their beer tasting like cold. What exactly is cold? Is it a flavour? No. But generally the people who drink that absolutely hate the taste of real beer.
  • Lime. Get rid of it. Now. Every summer time I see more and more brands of Lime beer. First it was Bud Light Lime, then Big Rock Lime, Russell Lime, Miller Chill, Moosehead Light Lime and now Molson 67 Sublime. Want lime in your beer so much? Instead of being lazy and paying a hefty premium on the beer. Buy a good beer, buy some limes, cut up limes, put it in beer and enjoy! It's that simple, and instead of ingesting what could be actually dish soap, you atleast know what you're drinking. What surprises me though is the lack of Beer + Clamato products in Canada. Putting Clamato juice in low quality lager is a prairie tradition here, a horrible one at that. I'm not giving breweries any ideas - so don't even dare!
  • Beer ads in general. Beer commercials have gotten less about the product itself, and more about making it look like you'll be hip if you drink a certain beer. If you buy a product just to look "cool", chances are it will make you look more like a tool than anything.
  • Beer snobs. I am a beer snob, a big one. But us as beer snobs should educate our friends and family about alternative beers rather than ridiculing them about drinking Coors Light over a local microbrew. Quite often people don't get introduced to local micros, so they tend to stick to the beer they hear about the most on TV, the macros, the Coors Lights of the world.
  • People who refuse to try new beer. This is the exact opposite of the last one. We all know these people, these people are our friends, our neighbours and family. These people have a specific beer they drink, usually something domestic and watered down and are quite happy with it. When you get them to try a new beer, they say "nah, I'm happy with my own beer". I believe everyone who drinks beer should try one microbrew at least once. I'm not talking about taking a 5mL sip, but try an entire bottle or pint of the beer. After they finish, if they still don't like it - then at least they tried. Why does this bother me? Well, I've been a picky eater my entire life. Anytime I go out to eat with friends, any family gathering or just whenever - people criticize my eating habits. I know what I like, and I know what I don't like - I've given new foods a try but it just doesn't do it for me. On the flip side, the people who criticize my eating habits are generally the ones who won't try new beers. These are people who think all beers should be light golden and see-through in appearance. The idea of a stout to these people is usually "OMG, that looks like you could cut through it with a knife!" If you're not going to try a different beer at least once, then don't criticize my eating habits!
  • Beer in plastic bottles. Stop, please, stop. I'm glad beer in plastic bottles hasn't become popular in Canada, but I'm scare day it will. Beer just tastes better in glass, any day. I can see 5 years from now a macro start selling beer in plastic bottles to retailers and it actually would take off, as people would go "oh cool! It's in a plastic bottle!" Beer in plastic bottle tastes like you're DRINKING plastic.
  • Pub staff not knowing their barware. That's one thing that irritates me about beers. You ask for a pint of your favourite beer (or whatever the best of the worst is), and they give it to you in a regular Coke glass. So now you're going to be charged for a pint when you're only getting a glass. Thankfully more respectable pubs never have this happen, but here in Brandon, Manitoba - it happens all the time. A glass of beer is around 355mL capacity, enough for a bottle or can. A pint on the other hand is 473mL or so. So you're getting jipped if that happens. I've had that happen to me on many occasions.
  • Pubs themselves. Quite often I'll walk into a restaurant or pub and I'll ask them what sort of beers they have on tap. 4/5 times they'll have the usual - Kokanee, 3 varieties of Alexander Keith's, 3 varieties of Rickard's, Coors/Bud Light, Canadian and maybe one or two more. What's missing is the microbrews - No Half Pints, no Big Rock, no Unibroue and no Mill Street. What's a kick is a pub will have 6 combined varieties of Keith's and Rickard's but nothing local, what? Thankfully pubs outside of Brandon generally don't have this problem, unless if they're a chain.
  • Molson M. I seriously can't believe people are buying into the micro-carbonated spiel. It still tastes like corny crap to me. This Globe and Mail article looks like it was written by someone who doesn't drink beer at all, 83/100? Nasty.
  • That's all I can really think of right now - add your gripes as well!

1 comment:

  1. Wow. That looks horrible, They aren't selling that in Alberta yet...

    ReplyDelete